Myths & Reality of Egg Donation & IVF

We learned a ton of good information on Tuesday, much of which I had never heard before so I wanted to share it with you all to clear up some of the myths around donor egg IVF:

Myth #1

Fifty percent of the genetic material is delivered by a sperm cell. Most men think their sperm is carrying their own characteristics. Actually their sperm is carrying genetic material from their entire gene pool (parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.). If the particular sperm that delivered the genetic material for your baby is carrying DNA for characteristics expressed in the father, the baby my resemble him. If, however, that particular sperm is carrying certain genetics from uncle Harry, for a little girl with curly blond hair and blue eyes, his daughter may look nothing like him with his straight dark hair and brown eyes. It is the luck of the draw. Each sperm cell carries an entirely different combination of genes from the man's ancestors.

The same is true for eggs. Any given egg contains genes from any group of ancestors and the eggs in B2 were formed using the exact same gene pool as my eggs would have been formed from. In fact using a sister as your donor means that your child will be your genetic and biological child.

Once the two sets of genes combine, another steps determines which traits will actually arise in the developing child. When the genes come together they all interact, some turn on, some turn off, so in reality, there is no telling which genes will do the instructing and who your child will act like, look like and sound like.

Myth #2

Although this is all called donor egg IVF, I will not receive B2's eggs. Once the genetic material from Mr. B and B2 has melded together in a laboratory the work of the sperm and egg is done. The combined material continues to duplicate itself until there is a ball of cells called an embryo and it is the embryo that is transferred to my uterus in hopes of implantation.

Myth #3

When a fetus grows inside of you, it takes the nutrients that your body already has, not what you are eating and drinking at the moment. In fact, most bodies run on a six month cycle, so the nutrients you took in 6 months ago is still in you supporting you in some way and this is what the fetus is using to grow. When you replace that nutrients, it enters the 6 month timeline of being used by the fetus. So if you are pregnant and eat garlic fries for lunch, it does not mean your growing child will also be having garlic fries for lunch.

So, in summary, B2's eggs are identical to the eggs I would have/should have had, a ball of cells will be transferred into me, not an egg and last but not least if I do get pregnant from IVF, what I am putting in my body now will be used up by the fetus to grow. Very interesting....

B2's Arrival

B2 arrived this morning and Mr. B and I headed out in the wee hours to pick her up from the airport. She flew in on a red-eye and was already dressed to go to the gym. As she is training for her half marathon I had arranged for her to have a guest pass at our gym so that she could still workout while she was here. I had anticipated that I would be dragged along and forced to train with her, however I did not anticipate that we would begin this training right as she de-planed. We went through the usual sibling greetings and before we could even get out of the airport, she was already asking when we would hit up the gym. Keep in mind, it is 6:30am and I was still rather groggy from getting up so dang early, the last thing I wanted to do was head to the gym to sweat for a few hours.

Thankfully we had to wait until 9am to pick up the guest pass and so we were able to get home, have breakfast and relax a little before we headed out. We made it to the gym around 10am and spent 2 hours working through her usual routine of cardio & weights. Afterwards we walked back home enjoying a little bit of sunshine along the way.

Later today we plan to leave Mr. B at home to study and hit the streets of Philadelphia to enjoy some of the finer elements of this city and tomorrow we are off bright and early, bound for New York.

Man, it is nice to have a sister.

And so it BEGINS!

My sister is only hours away from catching a flight from Seattle to Philadelphia to complete all required donor testing for donor egg IVF. It is so exciting to officially begin the IVF process, but it is also very exciting to have my sister in Philadelphia for the very first time. I am so excited for her to see the house and the garden and for us to have a few days to hang out together!

I plan to take a ton of photos so stay tuned and wish us all the best as we embark on this momentous adventure of IVF.

Lesson of the Day

Lesson of the day from an infertile woman:

If you know a woman is infertile, and she calls with super exciting news saying, "Guess What?", do not guess that she is pregnant.

Love you!

Nickel & Dime them Baby!

I am happy to report that I am slowly, very slowly working on RMA to bring the $30k donor egg IVF costs down as low as possible. I currently have them down to $26,330 and I am still working to get it even lower. Unfortunately working with RMA is not like buying a new car or house, they have the services that I want, and their the best and they know they are, so there is not a lot I can use to negotiate. Nonetheless, I am still going to try like mad to knock off as many dollars as possible and see where I end up. If you have any donor egg IVF cost saving ideas, let me know!

Additionally, did you know that if you are a healthy female between the age of 18-32 you can donate your eggs for $8k, each time? Most fertile woman have thousands of eggs to spare anyway, might as well make some coin for them rather than waste them. I tried to talk my donor, B2, into going through a few extra donation cycles to make some quick cash, but she wasn't really into it. Something about having a lot of little B2s running around the world, little parts of her that she would never know. Why is it that egg donors make $8k a pop while sperm donors only make $250 a pop? If it was reversed, Mr. B and I could be millionaires.

Anyway, keep you posted on my haggling success and failure.

Not to get TOO Personal...

....But hey, this blog is full of super personal, so why the heck should we not add to it!

Mr. B just got his test results back and I am proud to say that my honey's baby making DNA is superior to the average. The results revealed that his baby potion is way above average in all areas except for speed, where they test in the normal range. I imagine they could have the lazy gene, (kind of like Mr. B), and are just a little slow to get going which reduces their overall speed.

Hooray for above average sperm! We can cross that round of testing off the list.

For Mr. B on His Testing Day:

The Pain of the Pink

It is always those damn little things that throw you off.

Mr. B and I were out shopping the other day at Target and I was looking for a few throw pillows for our bedroom when I wandered past the little kids bedroom decor aisle. There was an entire aisle dedicated to decorating a little girls room....think of a pink, princess wonderland and you should be able to imagine it. I was doing OK until I saw this darling, little pink chandelier with little pink roses. It was a light pink and looked so delicate and fanciful.....I don't even like pink, but before I could stop myself I had designed the entire nursery in my head.

See...I have this thing with lighting. Each room in my house was designed around a light fixture and anytime I get stuck on a decorating idea, all I have to do is pick the lighting and the entire room comes together in my head.

Then I painfully remembered that decorating a nursery is years away, if ever, and before I started picking out light fixtures I better concentrate on the hear & now and in the here & now there is no child on the way and no reason to daydream about decorating a nursery. At which time I promptly turned and picked out a black throw pillow, save the pink for the wusses.

Nothing New

Not a lot of new is going on lately. I am pretty much in a holding pattern for the moment. Here is a list of the upcoming events:

April 17 - Mr. B goes in for additional testing

April 28 - Mr. B, B2 and I head out to NY for all final testing

April 29 - I meet with a local MD that specializes in natural medicine and Bio-Identical HRT

July 2 - Appointment for Eco Cardio Gram

I am also working with Dr. Butts to re-test for confirmation of Mosiac Turner's and begin discussing the plan for locating the 45,X cells and determining the percentage of my cells that have Turner's Syndrome. Once we know more we will begin testing my internal organs for possible damage.

Overall I still feel healthy, hopeful & happy.

Understanding Genetic Science from a Theatre Major

My biggest complaint about having complicated medical problems is that I am not a doctor and therefore I find it difficult to fully understand the diagnoses that have been provided to me. When we start talking about a genetic issue I am way outside my knowledge level as the last time I studied genetic science was back in 1998 when I was a junior in high school.

After a day of research, here is what I understand about my newest diagnosis, and please realize that I am not an expert on this subject, not even very knowledgeable and so some of the things I think I know, could be completely incorrect as the Internet has been my main learning tool:

1 - If there was not an error in the latest round of lab work, then I have what a medical professional would call Mosaic Turner's Syndrome.

2 -Mosaic Turner's has no cure, is on a DNA level and occurs at conception when the mother's egg and father's sperm combine.

3 - It is considered Mosaic as not all the DNA in my body is the same, meaning that the majority of cells are normal, (46, XX), while a small percentage of cells, 10% or less are (45, X), therefore in some cells I am missing a sex chromosome.

4 - On a cellular level, each cell in your body has your DNA, and your DNA is made up of your 46 chromosomes, 23 from each of your parents. If a person had full Turner's Syndrome, all of their cells would be (45,X) and they would be diagnosed as a child or around the time they should be hitting puberty. As only a portion of my cells are (45, X), I have not been impacted until now due to the discovery of POF and infertility.

5 - If you have any type of Turner's, you have a 98% chance of a natural pregnancy leading to a miscarriage. So even if Mr. B and I had tried to conceive prior to POF, the chances are very high that we would of had miscarriage after miscarriage. Thank God for small blessings.

6 - Statistics vary depending on the website, but 1 in 2,500 girls born will have Turner's Syndrome worldwide, with 20% having Mosaic Turner's.

7 - If you have any type of Turner's Syndrome, you will have Premature Ovarian Failure and thus we finally know why I have POF.

New possible health complications once we add in Mosaic Turner's include:

1 - Cardiovascular Malformations: Cardiovascular malformations are a serious concern as it is the most common cause of death in adults with Turner syndrome. It takes an important part in the 3-fold increase in overall mortality and the reduced life expectancy (up to 13 years) associated with Turner syndrome.

2 - Congenital Heart Disease: Congenital obstructive lesions of the left side of the heart, leading to reduced flow on this side of the heart

3 - Aortic Issues: The prevalence of aortic root dilatation ranges from 8.8% to 42% in patients with Turner syndrome. Even if not every aortic root dilatation necessarily goes on to an aortic dissection (circumferential or transverse tear of the intima), complications such as dissection, aortic rupture resulting in death may occur. The natural history of aortic root dilatation is still unknown, but it is a fact that it is linked to aortic dissection and rupture, which has a high mortality rate.

4 - Kidney: Approximately one-third of all women with Turner syndrome have one of three kidney abnormalities:
A single, horseshoe-shaped kidney on one side of the body.
An abnormal urine-collecting system.
Poor blood flow to the kidneys.

5 - Thyroid: Approximately one-third of all women with Turner syndrome have a thyroid disorder. Usually it is hypothyroidism, specifically Hashimoto's thyroiditis.

6 - Diabetes: Women with Turner syndrome are at a moderately increased risk of developing type 1 diabetes in childhood and a substantially increased risk of developing type 2 diabetes by adult years.

Both my thyroid and my glucose have been tested several times in the last year and each time the results show I have no issues in either area. In fact my thyroid is functioning better than average for my age so for now we can rule out both #5 & #6. Unfortunately, 1-4 are the scarier issues, all of which will need to be checked out prior to moving forward with Donor Egg IVF.

Now that we have dissected the negatives, let's take a moment to think of the positives of my newest diagnosis:

1 - Now I finally have closure as to why I have POF and I know that there is nothing I could have done, I was doomed from birth.

2 - There is absolutely no guilt about waiting 5 years to try and have a child. Now I am thankful that we waited as I am not sure I could have made it through miscarriage after miscarriage only to discover that I have a genetic issue.

3 - There is no way not to look on the positive side, as I could of had full blown Turner's which would have completely changed my life and I would not be who I am today, both physically and mentally. With only having Mosaic Turner's, I have been able to have a happy and healthy life for the first 28 years.

4 - My family has been extremely lucky as everyone was born healthy and have gone on to have super healthy families of their own. The odds were against us that sooner or later someone would have to be born with something or come down with some illness and now statistically we are in much better shape. Siblings and parents, I am taking one for the team, I accept gifts of any kind.

What's Next?

Now that I have been diagnosed I will be undergoing further testing to rule out internal organ issues. Along with this diagnosis, they, (meaning my doctors), require counseling with a genetic specialist so I will also be talking to a specialized quack. We are hoping for the best and feel the odds are with us that everything will be just fine internally as it has externally.

Looking at the full picture, as we know it today, being infertile is a very small price to pay as we can still do Donor Egg IVF and we can still have a family and overall live a very healthy life with a little help from supplements and bioidentical hormone replacement therapy.

I have lived a super healthy lifestyle and have always been very blessed with good health, who would have thought that buried in my DNA was a genetic disorder? It is a rather humbling experience and I don't think I will ever forget how delicate life is, for everyone, whether they realize it or not.

Turner's Syndrome?

And the good times just keep on coming.....

I received a call today from Dr. Butts, my fertility doctor here in Philadelphia. Some of my genetic testing is in and it has revealed that I have Turner's Syndrome which is the cause of my POF. While it is great to finally know why I have POF, it is a little upsetting to find out that I have a chromosomal disease that leads to early death. So, I will be going in for another round of testing to find out the extent and what it means to my future health.

In reading up online, it appears that I have 2 known symptoms of Turner's Syndrome, (ear infections as a child and infertility as an adult), out of about 50 symptoms for the disease, which I guess means that I have a very mild case of Turner's. Hopefully the insides of me are in as good of shape as the outside. Keep you posted.

To learn more about Turner's Syndrome, check out the following links:

http://www.turnersyndrome.org/index.php?option=com_frontpage&Itemid=135

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turner_syndrome

http://www.medicinenet.com/turner_syndrome/article.htm

Adoption on Hold

Because we are in a bit of a time crunch with donor egg IVF, we have decided to put our adoption paperwork on hold. We plan to pick it back up in a few years once we have made it through IVF.

Updates, Updates, Updates

OK, a LOT has been going on these last few weeks and I apologize for not updating sooner, I just did not want to get everyone's hopes up on our most recent news until we were sure the direction we were headed.

After my latest FSH results were so painfully high, I met with my fertility doctor to discuss what the results really meant and I discovered that it really meant what I already knew, there is no way that we will be able to get pregnant in any kind of natural way and there is no way to use any of my own eggs, as I do not have any. Bummer.

Right around the same time my sister, also a Mrs. B (we'll call her B2), enters the picture and selflessly volunteers to be an egg donor for us. Which is great because it means 3 very important things:

1 - The donor eggs we use will have my family DNA, a superior brand if you ask me

2 - My future children have a chance at having a much smaller B2 sized nose, very unlike the rest of my family

3 - It brings the cost of donor egg IVF down from $40+k to a meager $30+k

However, there is a hitch, as there always is, if we do this, we have to do it before B2 turns 33, as the clinic we are working with will not use donors over the age of 33. Also, the longer we wait, the longer I will have to go without hormone replacement therapy (HRT), as you cannot do IVF and HRT concurrently, and putting off HRT for long is not really a healthy option.

So, we decided to throw caution to the wind and dive head first into this crazy world of donor egg IVF and happily enough we are dragging B2 through the process with us, hooray for sisters, I am sure I will have to give up a kidney for this one day.

Here is a picture of B2 with her oldest:

Interesting facts about B2 & her DNA:

1 - Her FSH is 2.9, yes, 2.9, which is shockingly good and immediately made me jealous and happy all at the same time. She seems to follow after our mom and can get pregnant just by being in the same room as her husband.

2 - She has super curly hair, much like the rest of my family. I use to joke when I was young that when the curl got to me it ran out as I have wavy hair....perhaps that is what happened to my eggs as well, when the eggs got to me they ran out, no wonder she has the lions share. With Mr. B's curly hair and B2's, our kids should be in great shape for super curls which makes me so happy.

3 - B2 is gorgeous, she has the best smile in the world, it lights up her entire face. Plus she is super fit and could out-do me in any type of physical competition, including the half marathon she is training for.

4 - B2 is incredible smart and so are her kids. I know most people think their kids are smart, but believe me, I have been around a lot of kids, and I would have to say that the smart genes permeate our DNA. I mean, I am sure B2's husband also had a part, but once again, our DNA is a superior brand. No offense to anyone, but our kids will be smarter than yours. :-)

5 - She is warm, generous and loving. Willing to travel across the nation to be shot up with countless synthetic hormones, undergo way too many physical examinations, poking, prodding, and super personal questionnaires just to help us have a chance to have our own family.

She really will earn her stripes as the best-sister-in-the-world and we are SO thankful for her and her super charged fertility.

Interesting facts about donor egg IVF:

1 - It cost way too much money and unless you work for Microsoft, your insurance does not cover a penny. Unfortunately neither Mr. B nor I work for Microsoft.

2 - Statistics vary by clinic, but our clinic has a 70% success rate with donor egg IVF pregnancy and a 60% rate of a live birth, which means 10% of the women who get pregnant with donor egg IVF will lose the baby.

3 - For the 60% that do end up with a child, there is a 50% chance of twins.

4 - Donor egg IVF will run us $30k for the first cycle and $4k for each additional cycle, ouch, that is a lot of dough, thankfully we have real estate that we can sell and Mr. B will be working as a lawyer in the near future.

5 - For each IVF cycle, two embryos will be implanted, the remaining embryos will be frozen for future cycles.

All the excitement will began on April 28th when Mr. B, B2 and I will head to NYC to complete all preliminary donor testing. Once we successfully pass all testing we will schedule a 15 day period for B2 to come out so that we can do the actual procedure. We are planning to do it all this summer and if everything goes the way we hope it will, I will be pregnant by the time Mr. B starts his new job.

We fully believe in the power of prayer, so if you pray, please pray for us to successfully make it through and end up with a healthy child of our own. Keep you all posted as we go.